Introduction and Disclaimer

Hello.

Some of you may know me from my other blogs, Randal's Rambles and The Journey. Some may not. To all of you, welcome.

I have been an insomniac as far back as i can remember. The earliest times that i can remember not being able to sleep were my middle teens. But like i tell people... when you can't sleep at 15, it's pretty cool; when you can't sleep at 25 it's still all right; when you can't sleep at 35, it's starting to get really old; when you can't sleep at 45, you've had enough.

I went in for my first sleep studies the other night. Night one without a Cpap (continuous positive airway pressure) mask, the second night with. I will post descriptions of those two nights later. For the moment, let me say that i had absolutely no idea how bad my insomnia was before i did these sleep studies.

Charles Bukowski said "These words i write keep me from total madness." I will say that writing is one of my ways of dealing with my insomnia, so in effect, these words serve the same function for me. So i decided that i will keep this blog in the hopes of educating people, entertaining people and keeping track of my own journey for me. I will write about what insomnia is, how it's treated, and how to avoid it if you can. Most of all, i'm writing it for my fellow insomniacs. I'm writing it so that you know, as i will end every blog entry, you are not alone. From talking to fellow insomniacs, i know that the feeling of aloneness that i suffer is not mine... i am not alone. Almost every insomniac that i've ever spent any time with... or anyone i know who has suffered temporary insomnia for a long enough time... feels the same way. When you're talking to someone who got seven or eight hours of sleep the previous night, it is impossible to describe to them what it is to hate your bed. To go to bed KNOWING that you're just going to lay there with your eyes closed, trying your damndest to go to sleep, like a child waiting for Santa, and knowing that if it DOES come, it will probably take a long, long time.

So here's my disclaimer... i am going to present information on this blog as i understand it. If i fuck up, then it is my fuck up and i own it. If anyone would like to correct me on FACTUAL errors, please do. I want to disseminate information, not misinformation. If you want to take me to school for disagreeing with your opinion, please don't. We used to say when we were kids "Opinions are like assholes: everyone's got one and they ALL stink." So please don't try to bully me into agreeing with yours. But, if you are a fellow insomniac who wants to add something via comment, please do. I think that the best way for us to get through this is to realize that WE ARE NOT ALONE! We also have allies among the sleepers who are trying to help us, so if you're a sleeper who wants to pitch in your POSITIVE, CONSTRUCTIVE two cents worth, please do.

Okay.

Tomorrow, i'll really start the ball rolling here with a description of insomnia, and an explanation of what insomnia ISN'T to the best of my abilities.

You are not alone.

Randal